CocoNuts

So, I am in love with coconut oil. It makes my white hair and scalp really moist and is so nice on my face. You melt a little bit and it goes a long way. I have been using it as my all-over moisturizer it works so much better than anything I have ever used--seriously.
The more I research it online, the more I like it. I am even tempted to use it for cooking. I am gaining newly pigmented hair, however fine, but I swear it is due to the coconut oil. Coconut oil has antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties that soothe the hair follicles and keep the skin looking young. While I have been doing everything in my power to stimulate my hair growth, my skin is softest and clearest it has been in ages. And, as my friend Kirstan points out--it smells like vacation--which is my favorite smell description ever! Hail Coconut Oil!

Checking in

It’s been a while since I have updated my blog. Partially, because I am just busy, but mostly because I am finally getting settled with my new look and new attitude towards life. I have been so happy lately, and I have been having fun with my new super short platinum hair. I was walking in a hip part of town yesterday and saw at least 2 other people sporting the same locks so I felt at home. It’s weird because no one has really ever commented on my hair before. I swear I get like 3-5 compliments a day. It’s amazing because I am not in love with it myself. (In fact while I was writing this someone approached me to say they loved my hair. ;)

I am decidedly obsessed with Whole Foods. I am pretty sure they have everything I need there for my complete beauty regiment. Essential oils in health care like grape seed and jojoba are there, and they are reasonably overpriced. I have been using the grape seed oil there on my face and scalp and my skin has never looked better. The oils have been giving my scalp a touch of acne. My doctor prescribed some Retin-A for it and it helps a lot.

It’s been about 3 months. My hair is gaining some pigment in some spots but it’s mostly fine. It’s thicker on the top of my head than the sides. I put the squaric acid compound on my head every other day. I won’t change anything that I feel is working. Meditation continues to be an important part of my mental health and happiness, lots of exercise too.

Roots

Who knew I would ever be so excited to see dark roots?! I noticed in the mirror last night that there were small swirls of dark hair in the back of my head. I got a hand mirror to double check in the reflection. Mixed in with the white was some dark hair. I asked my work colleagues and sure enough they all saw the dark hairs. It was not a dream. I think I may hold off on the coloring just to see what happens. I am just glad it is seemingly on its way.

It's odd that it seems to be growing when I am emotionally strong. Just last night a woman approached me at work and exclaimed "What did you do to your hair?!" Mind you I have never met nor seen this woman at the library. I calmly said it fell out with no explanation. She asked if I had cancer. (Standard) When I replied no she just repeated--"it fell out." Yes. Then she totally changed gears and asked me if I modeled. It was hilarious. But the remarkable part was that I did not cry, get upset or apologize for having short locks. I have broken down from comments like this in the past and it just sort of rolled off me and had a laugh about it. I am embracing these small victories and reminding myself how far I have come.

I knew it!

Today I went to yet another follow up appointment at the dermatologist. It was a great progress report because since I have been using the squaric acid, my hair has doubled in volume and length. Sure, it has no pigment, but it's real hair! My suspicions were confirmed and the hair is actually terminal (as opposed to baby fine hair that would eventually fall out again.) The AA is still attacking the pigmented cells but not the entire follicle. The doctor has upped the strength of my minoxidil/squaric acid compound. I feel no irritation where I should. While I do think this is aiding in my hair's recovery, I do believe the most important treatment was the reduction in stress and useful meditation techniques. It all is part of the process. I sort of knew I was healing but it was nice to have the confirmation. Yay!

It is also safe to dye. The only question now is--what color?! (Pink, green, blue) Life is too short for boring hair. If I fully recover I swear I will never complain about a bad hair cut or bad hair day.

Kindness

A woman approached me at work the other day and asked if my hair had fallen out. She told me her hair fell out when she had chemo and it grew in like mine (white) and then came in green from the radiation. She used a raw coconut oil that her brother made from Puerto Rico and she offered to bring some in for me. She said it soothed her scalp and helped re-gain pigment into her now amazingly curly hair. We had a nice discussion and two days later she came in with a jar of the oil. I couldn't believe it. It makes me so happy to see that people can be so kind. After all, I mostly notice people staring at me at the gym, wondering if I have cancer. The oil is so soothing and smells so great. I am sure it will be just as effective as the other aromatherapy oils but this one means a lot to me. It smells amazing and reminds me to be open-minded and supportive of those who may need it.

Added bonus: My cat really likes coconut oil. I had some on my hand and she kept trying to lick it off. When I realized what she wanted I put it a tiny scoop in her food bowl. She needed some kindness too ;)

Nurture with Nature

I went to the Bahamas to relax and get out of Chicago for a few days. So far it was one of my favorite self care treatments. My friend Jessica and I were able to relax and soak up the sun, kayak, sail and enjoy the Caribbean blue waters. The air was so different from Chicago, or maybe it was just me. For the first time I went wig-less from start to finish. It felt amazing! My white hair actually has filled in and thickened but its still bright white so it may have appeared intentional. Jessica said it looked "punk". At least 15 different people told me I looked awesome! I was so shocked each time but truly flattered. I couldn't believe how great it felt and how liberating. This experience has translated to home. I no longer intend to wear a wig to hide (but I will for fun if I want to).

Traditionally I have used travel to get in touch with my authentic self. In this case it has done so and given me an inner strength I didn't know existed. I could never have predicted how far I have come in terms of my hair loss and self acceptance. I love it!

Shaitsu

Yesterday I went for a Shiatsu massage. It was fantastic. It is supposed to be like a massage version of acupuncture, but to me it felt like doing yoga without having to exert myself. The experience was so wonderful due to the nature of the masseuse, Eivor. She provides a comfortable mat on the floor and stretches you out from head to toe. Her technique was so calming and zen I felt I could take a nap right on the floor. We spoke a bit about my having alopecia and she was so supportive and encouraging. She reminded me about how interesting this journey has been and how far I have come in terms of recovery in both mind and body. I anxiously await my next appointment so I can see my new friend. I took several of her business cards and plan on encouraging my friends to go to her. She was reasonably priced but worth so much more.

It still amazes me that I have been so lucky through this process. I have been getting all of the right care at just the time I needed it. The law of attraction at work?

Hair update: My scalp has a ton of life on it right now. It is even (though short and fine) seems to be sprouting new terminal-esque hairs daily. Only time will truly tell but I am encouraged by the growth and people like Eivor, reminding me that I am on the right track.