Roots

Who knew I would ever be so excited to see dark roots?! I noticed in the mirror last night that there were small swirls of dark hair in the back of my head. I got a hand mirror to double check in the reflection. Mixed in with the white was some dark hair. I asked my work colleagues and sure enough they all saw the dark hairs. It was not a dream. I think I may hold off on the coloring just to see what happens. I am just glad it is seemingly on its way.

It's odd that it seems to be growing when I am emotionally strong. Just last night a woman approached me at work and exclaimed "What did you do to your hair?!" Mind you I have never met nor seen this woman at the library. I calmly said it fell out with no explanation. She asked if I had cancer. (Standard) When I replied no she just repeated--"it fell out." Yes. Then she totally changed gears and asked me if I modeled. It was hilarious. But the remarkable part was that I did not cry, get upset or apologize for having short locks. I have broken down from comments like this in the past and it just sort of rolled off me and had a laugh about it. I am embracing these small victories and reminding myself how far I have come.

I knew it!

Today I went to yet another follow up appointment at the dermatologist. It was a great progress report because since I have been using the squaric acid, my hair has doubled in volume and length. Sure, it has no pigment, but it's real hair! My suspicions were confirmed and the hair is actually terminal (as opposed to baby fine hair that would eventually fall out again.) The AA is still attacking the pigmented cells but not the entire follicle. The doctor has upped the strength of my minoxidil/squaric acid compound. I feel no irritation where I should. While I do think this is aiding in my hair's recovery, I do believe the most important treatment was the reduction in stress and useful meditation techniques. It all is part of the process. I sort of knew I was healing but it was nice to have the confirmation. Yay!

It is also safe to dye. The only question now is--what color?! (Pink, green, blue) Life is too short for boring hair. If I fully recover I swear I will never complain about a bad hair cut or bad hair day.

Kindness

A woman approached me at work the other day and asked if my hair had fallen out. She told me her hair fell out when she had chemo and it grew in like mine (white) and then came in green from the radiation. She used a raw coconut oil that her brother made from Puerto Rico and she offered to bring some in for me. She said it soothed her scalp and helped re-gain pigment into her now amazingly curly hair. We had a nice discussion and two days later she came in with a jar of the oil. I couldn't believe it. It makes me so happy to see that people can be so kind. After all, I mostly notice people staring at me at the gym, wondering if I have cancer. The oil is so soothing and smells so great. I am sure it will be just as effective as the other aromatherapy oils but this one means a lot to me. It smells amazing and reminds me to be open-minded and supportive of those who may need it.

Added bonus: My cat really likes coconut oil. I had some on my hand and she kept trying to lick it off. When I realized what she wanted I put it a tiny scoop in her food bowl. She needed some kindness too ;)

Nurture with Nature

I went to the Bahamas to relax and get out of Chicago for a few days. So far it was one of my favorite self care treatments. My friend Jessica and I were able to relax and soak up the sun, kayak, sail and enjoy the Caribbean blue waters. The air was so different from Chicago, or maybe it was just me. For the first time I went wig-less from start to finish. It felt amazing! My white hair actually has filled in and thickened but its still bright white so it may have appeared intentional. Jessica said it looked "punk". At least 15 different people told me I looked awesome! I was so shocked each time but truly flattered. I couldn't believe how great it felt and how liberating. This experience has translated to home. I no longer intend to wear a wig to hide (but I will for fun if I want to).

Traditionally I have used travel to get in touch with my authentic self. In this case it has done so and given me an inner strength I didn't know existed. I could never have predicted how far I have come in terms of my hair loss and self acceptance. I love it!

Shaitsu

Yesterday I went for a Shiatsu massage. It was fantastic. It is supposed to be like a massage version of acupuncture, but to me it felt like doing yoga without having to exert myself. The experience was so wonderful due to the nature of the masseuse, Eivor. She provides a comfortable mat on the floor and stretches you out from head to toe. Her technique was so calming and zen I felt I could take a nap right on the floor. We spoke a bit about my having alopecia and she was so supportive and encouraging. She reminded me about how interesting this journey has been and how far I have come in terms of recovery in both mind and body. I anxiously await my next appointment so I can see my new friend. I took several of her business cards and plan on encouraging my friends to go to her. She was reasonably priced but worth so much more.

It still amazes me that I have been so lucky through this process. I have been getting all of the right care at just the time I needed it. The law of attraction at work?

Hair update: My scalp has a ton of life on it right now. It is even (though short and fine) seems to be sprouting new terminal-esque hairs daily. Only time will truly tell but I am encouraged by the growth and people like Eivor, reminding me that I am on the right track.

Soy what?

I am on a new research kick involving Soy. I had it in my mind that it was plant based, part of a healthy Asian diet and good for you. I have found many credible articles that disproves my theory. It's of concern to me because I have been using a soy based protein supplement since August to maintain muscle while losing fat after my workouts. I switched to soy since it was on sale and did not have sugar additives. This is the only major change in my diet that I can recall. I did a google search on "soy and immune system" and many variations of those key words. There are many articles saying that soy is not FDA approved and soy may suppress the immune system. I was shocked. Artificial sweeteners were implicated as well. So I have to ditch the soy powder which will be easy. Cutting out my beloved diet coke...that will be hard. But until I reach my goal of healthy hair growth, I have to remain disciplined. If this works it would make a good amount of sense. Stress plus my food allergy=hair loss. I know it is not that simple but I am still determined to heal and get my terminal hair back.

Soy Articles

Hopeful

So I have done the new treatment twice so far. It came in a refrigerated cooler box which made sense but surprised me. It looks like a clear nail polish bottle and cost a small fortune. No surprise there. I took a cotton ball and rubbed it all over my head. It was cool and smelled like acetone but did not irritate me. Supposedly that is ok. It absorbs quickly so it barely feels like I have applied it. I was tempted to keep rubbing it in but I know better. I have to be patient. There was some shedding of my dark, terminal hairs though they are few and far between. I read that some patients had shown signs of regrowth in 2-4 weeks. At first I was excited by this but I have to be realistic. My immune system is fighting the good fight so I doubt it will turn around in such a short time. But it will turn around, I know it.