set back

I am not sure if I am being paranoid or not but I feel like my hair is falling out a little lately. A bit thinner in some places that had been covered by longer strands. It is hard to determine the exact cause--although it seems like the perfect storm of letting my compound medication lapse, a gap in yoga and diligent meditation and night time oil rituals combined with a bit of personal stress. Most likely it is all of the above. While I was experiencing a slight funk, this possible regression is a reminder that I need to continually maintain all self-care rituals no matter what is happening in my life(good or bad). I got a bit sidetracked and relaxed from all the work I was doing. Things had been going so well and the slightest misstep caused me to abandon my healthy routine. I start today dedicating more time for my healing--I am just not there yet. I need to be patient during this process and so many others in my life. This is a lesson I keep having to relearn.

beautiful but? F@*& that!

I went out on Saturday night with some friends to a bar. There was a very social vibe and music, dancing etc. Some guy comes up to me and actually says "honey you are beautiful but like, bald." I was initially taken aback, then I patted his shaved, bald head. I said something back like"who are you to make that kind of statement?" (He may have made the comment to be cute. He was anything but.)

What was that about? I have more hair then I have had since November 2008 and it is actually styled. I even had a barrette (a baby one) in my hair to add a little decoration. You know the old adage "if you can't say anything nice..." People can say really dumb things. I wish more people gave thought to their statements.

hair cut

So I got my first hair cut on Friday last week. I forgot how good they felt. When you get your hair washed and scalp massage-WOW! I had my pixie cut shaped up a bit. It looks better and you can see my roots coming in slowly but surely-yay pigment! It looks more intentional monthly. It is not full volume but there are no bald spots at all. It's maybe at 50%, but I had a lot to start with. I am still not feeling the short short hair but being wig-free is priceless. My regiment has slimmed down the basics that I feel are most helpful:

Coconut oil/Essential oil scalp massages
Meditation/Self Hypnosis
Yoga & exercise
Squaric Acid/Minoxidil compound (3-5x week)
Multi-vitamins & Grape seed oil supplements

Now that I look at my list--it seems like quite a bit. My habits have become so routine that it seems natural. Good advice for all self-care.

What does Brooke Shields know?

So I have recently heard about Lumigan. This is a product that was originally used for glaucoma patients and had noticeable side effect of longer eye lashes. After FDA approval, it was repackaged for those in want (or need) of thicker and longer lashes and called it Latisse. My doctor offered to write a prescription and it would run about $30-40. Latisse runs around $150.00/month.

Before AA, I would have thought it was pure vanity. Now I know that for those affected, it is the matter of looking healthy or not. I did lose some lashes and brow, they have returned without pigment. I can easily cover the lashes with some black mascara and brow pencil and be good to go. Two months ago I would have bought the stuff. You can use it on your brows as well. I will consider getting it for my next follow-up appointment.

I would recommend giving it a try for those in need--what have you got to lose? When you stop use of the product, your eyelashes will return to normal. But it may be the quick fix until the AA is out of your system.

There are now commercials featuring Brooke Shields as the Latisse spokesperson. It would be great if it were more accessible to the Alopecian community--that's all I'm saying.

CocoNuts

So, I am in love with coconut oil. It makes my white hair and scalp really moist and is so nice on my face. You melt a little bit and it goes a long way. I have been using it as my all-over moisturizer it works so much better than anything I have ever used--seriously.
The more I research it online, the more I like it. I am even tempted to use it for cooking. I am gaining newly pigmented hair, however fine, but I swear it is due to the coconut oil. Coconut oil has antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties that soothe the hair follicles and keep the skin looking young. While I have been doing everything in my power to stimulate my hair growth, my skin is softest and clearest it has been in ages. And, as my friend Kirstan points out--it smells like vacation--which is my favorite smell description ever! Hail Coconut Oil!

Checking in

It’s been a while since I have updated my blog. Partially, because I am just busy, but mostly because I am finally getting settled with my new look and new attitude towards life. I have been so happy lately, and I have been having fun with my new super short platinum hair. I was walking in a hip part of town yesterday and saw at least 2 other people sporting the same locks so I felt at home. It’s weird because no one has really ever commented on my hair before. I swear I get like 3-5 compliments a day. It’s amazing because I am not in love with it myself. (In fact while I was writing this someone approached me to say they loved my hair. ;)

I am decidedly obsessed with Whole Foods. I am pretty sure they have everything I need there for my complete beauty regiment. Essential oils in health care like grape seed and jojoba are there, and they are reasonably overpriced. I have been using the grape seed oil there on my face and scalp and my skin has never looked better. The oils have been giving my scalp a touch of acne. My doctor prescribed some Retin-A for it and it helps a lot.

It’s been about 3 months. My hair is gaining some pigment in some spots but it’s mostly fine. It’s thicker on the top of my head than the sides. I put the squaric acid compound on my head every other day. I won’t change anything that I feel is working. Meditation continues to be an important part of my mental health and happiness, lots of exercise too.

Roots

Who knew I would ever be so excited to see dark roots?! I noticed in the mirror last night that there were small swirls of dark hair in the back of my head. I got a hand mirror to double check in the reflection. Mixed in with the white was some dark hair. I asked my work colleagues and sure enough they all saw the dark hairs. It was not a dream. I think I may hold off on the coloring just to see what happens. I am just glad it is seemingly on its way.

It's odd that it seems to be growing when I am emotionally strong. Just last night a woman approached me at work and exclaimed "What did you do to your hair?!" Mind you I have never met nor seen this woman at the library. I calmly said it fell out with no explanation. She asked if I had cancer. (Standard) When I replied no she just repeated--"it fell out." Yes. Then she totally changed gears and asked me if I modeled. It was hilarious. But the remarkable part was that I did not cry, get upset or apologize for having short locks. I have broken down from comments like this in the past and it just sort of rolled off me and had a laugh about it. I am embracing these small victories and reminding myself how far I have come.