Bad Hair Day

I dread washing my hair these days. It's a reminder that what is happening is real. I massaged my scalp last night, otherwise I would not produce enough oil to require washing. Unfortunately I cannot go to bed with greasy hair. I put a tiny dab of shampoo on my hand and rub it into my hair. I can feel every ridge on my scalp. My hair is so thin but small clumps still poured out into the tub. My foot quickly shoved the hair down the drain, seeing it makes it worse. I tried to relax so that I could try and keep what exists in place, but my heart just pounds harder. I'm not sure if it has to cycle out or if I am just getting worse (alopecia totalis). I can feel tiny spikes of hair starting where they injected the cortisone. Not sure if its false hope or not.

Emotions are complicated

I love therapists! When they are really good at what they do, the world before you seems to make much more sense. I thought I knew what stress was, but it turned out stress for me is entirely different and very personal. I was putting a lot of stress on myself, I still am.

My therapist last night seemed to think that while my cognitive skills are strong, there is still some work to do on my emotions. Whether or not this will actually improve my follicle challenges, I believe that she can help me make it through this ordeal.

I went to bed last night with a sense of hope, and felt thankful that there are so many people around me willing to help. I woke up with the same feeling.

Hypnotize Me

So today I am going to see a hypnotherapist. This doctor was recommend since she is a specialist with conditions of this nature. This usually happens to children. ( I knew I was still a kid!) I can't believe she fit me in so quickly. I am excited and anxious to see what she will say. Will this type of treatment help me relax enough for my hair to grow back? Truthfully, I didn't know I was really all that stressed to begin with. My biggest problems were finding my next vacation spot and perhaps a nice boy to date. I am aware these are not worries. But I am going to find out what she has to say.

There are a few articles I have read online linking hypnotherapy as a treatment of alopecia.

What is hypnotherapy?

Psychology Today

Follow Up Visit

Yesterday I had a follow up appointment with Dr. Lio. Aileen went with me for support which makes me again thankful for my friends. He was able to take out my stitches from my biopsy last week and answer my questions.

Will my hair grow back? He said all signs were positive that it would. While I am in the more severe category with hair loss, my eyebrows and eyelashes are strong. Nails are in good health and the smart hair (hair on the back ridge) is still fairly thick. All good signs. He said he would not give me full-throttle yes because the disease is unpredictable but I should remain hopeful and take charge of my treatment. Previous cortisone shots are working and hair is growing in treated areas. Fingers crossed.

Was this an allergic reaction?
No evidence points to allergies in any studies.

Is there any diet restrictions with this condition.
See answer above.

How often will I have to do follow-up with for cortisone shots?
Once a month, hopefully no more than 3 months. We should see growth very soon.

What other options do I have for treatment?
Besides the scalp massages, studies have shown hypnotherapy to work. Cool!

At this point I will try anything. I told him I would chant, pray, send smoke signals and provide offerings to the gods!! I will go and get hypnotized to see if there is any stress I am repressing. I feel relatively un-stresed besides the fact that my hair is falling out.

This is all good stuff. I am going to still workout, do yoga and try to not stress out--which is proving to be stressful! Crossing my fingers and hope to relax and help heal my foxxy alopecia.

Wigging Out

Last week Renata and my mom went with me to pick out a wig. I had lost about 3/4 of my hair so I estimated it was only a matter of time. Luckily, I had tons of hair to start off with. We went to Because of You Hair Enhancement in Oak Lawn. Joyce was really nice and understanding. I can't emphasize that enough. After trying on a few I picked one I could live with. I pick it up Saturday. Thanks to my mom and Renata for making me laugh--and holding my hand when I cried.

What is up with my hair?!

Exactly four weeks ago I saw a bald spot on my head. I had some friends check my head, panicked slightly, and then found another. I thought it was strange and made a quick appointment at a dermatologist office. Going to the doctor is something I never do. I was diagnosed with alopecia, probably stress related, given a couple shots of cortisone and went on my way.

A week later more and more hair fell out, ridiculous amounts of hair. I called other doctors, more appointments, blood work all normal. Hair loss is not a symptom.

Finally my gynecologist recommended I go to Northwestern--great move. From there I have met with a team of competent and caring doctors which was a great relief. They diagnosed me with Alopecia Areata, an autoimmune disorder where the body mysteriously attacks its own hair follicles. Its sometimes triggered by stress but otherwise the origins of the disease is unknown and there is no cure--only treatment(Awesome!)

Within the last few weeks my scalp has gone through a severe transformation. I chopped my hair short (something I have been flirting with anyway) and now I sit and watch patiently for signs of improvement. I have run the gamut of emotions from Why me to Fuck it it's only hair and I believe I am about to experience a lot more.

This blog serves to document my journey, aggregate information about the disease for my friends and family, and help me remember to live a more thankful, joyful and appreciative life. After all, I have so much to be thankful for but it took a health scare which prompted me to take a more pro-active approach to enjoying my life.