dreams

I always knew it was important to dream, I thought it was a way that we process our days. in the book Awakening Intuition, Schulz talks about patients dreaming of their illnesses in interesting ways. For example, one patient had dreams of rats chewing out his stomach. This person ended up having stomach cancer. Schulz also said that once the problem had been identified, patients stopped dreaming that dream. (Makes sense). There were more convincing examples so I have been researching my dreams and their symbols. Oddly enough I recalled some of my significant dreams from the time I was diagnosed with AA. I kept dreaming of closet space because my closets were fulled. I just thought it was because my condo is small and I don't have any room for storage. According a dream decoder it says that home and closet may represent your life and crowding could mean cluttered. That is consistent with my life last year. I had a lot of stress and responsibility that I did not want or need. If I had listened to my dreams--perhaps my body would not have neede to respond. Day and night we have to learn to pay attention to what our body is telling us. I am going to do that for sure--but my actual closet situation has not been rectified.

stress management

I believe that overall stress was a prime factor in triggering my body's alopecia. The past year I have made a concerted effort to reduce stress and change my body's response to it. Meditation and yoga have certainly helped, as well as an overall change in perspective on responsiblity. Recently I had something happen which caused me to become quite upset. It caused me to temporarily abandon my healthy rituals--just when I needed them the most. I was caught up in the worry and lost focus of what would actually help me. It happens. I knew what I needed to do but I was so tired--I didn't feel up to task. Having allowed the time to "do nothing" I then was able to go back to the business of self care.

But hardships are good reminders that we need to constantly address our health and stay connected to the needs of our body. I would hate to loose all of what I gained through this experience for a little setback.

progress

The best thing about getting my hair dyed is that is allows me to see the growth and progress. My hair is now a few shades lighter then my natural color and many of my new baby hairs are already popping through in a darker shade of brown. I can feel the little spikes and actually see them! Very encouraging. I was looking back at some older pictures this year and I can's seem to remember how the transformation from non-pigmented hair to full pigment. I guess it was pretty gradual and I was occupied with other areas in life. But there is definite progress.

My hair is actually growing fast, but still not full volume. Head massages--I swear by them. After a little movement I can feel my scalp loosen up and release tension and feel more relaxed. Most articles I have read about hair stimulation recommends massage when shampooing and conditioning. While I have never been able to spend the 10 minutes in the shower, I definitely try to give myself brief massages throughout the day to make up the time. I know it helps.

compromise

So after my last doctor's appointment I was told I can officially go down on my compound treatment to once a week and to supplement men's rogaine (also safe for women). They advised that after 3-4 months or if growth/volume look normal, I can go ahead and stop use of the compound. While I suspect that I will need more time to regain full volume, the idea of a few more months gives me hope of an end. This is now a full year and while I wish I would experience spontaneous regrowth--I must be patient. I had a very extreme form of alopecia so it is to be expected it would not be a quick recovery. At least my spirits recoverd quickly.

I ordered more Morroccan Oil products--shampoo, conditioner and conditioning mask. Love them all! Though not as tingly as my tea tree Boost products, this suite of products are ultra nuturing and smell fantastic. My thin locks are definitely softer but still look fried to me. Better than nothing though. It is really dark, almost all my hair pigment has come back on what I have. Friday--my first highlights! Can't wait!

what to do

My next blog will focus on etiquette. I realize appearance is a common denominator but we can do better in terms of connecting with one another. It's been a while since someone has said something hurtful or stupid lately...until today. I helped a patron and she asked me where my cool, grayish-blond hair was. That is a good question, I replied. Seriously--do we need to be told how to rephrase things so we don't end up with back-handed comments? I guess so. Is she telling me my hair looks bad now? I know I need to let this go.

My own dilemma stems from super dry scalp and hair. I have tried everything! And there has been slight improvement. I use coconut oil, Moroccan oil, mane & tail daily. Plus I condition everyday. The only thing it can be is the medication. The squaric acid/minoxidil compound is hell on the scalp. Is it worth it? Should I go au natural? It is a few weeks until my doctor's appointment to ask for advice. It has been 4 days since my last application. Decisions decisions.

moroccan oil

My friend Kirstan bought this for me. Moroccan oil smells great, does not make your hair greasy and penetrates deeply and quickly. My hair was feeling so dry and within a few days of using this my scalp felt so much softer and healthier. The best part is that I can deep condition in the day without the greasy effect. A little pricey but worth it! Can't wait to see what long term use will do.
I still see lots of shedding but in certain parts of my scalp, hair is almost normal-ish. I think I may have spotted a grey hair today but not sure if it is white remnant or what. No matter what--I will take it. My anniversary is coming up too, almost a year. I still can't believe how far I have come with this.

leave-in conditioner

So I am really excited about my new (new to me) find. The treatment I used tends to leave my hair very brittle and looks a little fried. But it actually works for me because it makes my hair appear thicker. I was at Sally's Beauty Supply yesterday and I stumbled across the Mane 'n Tail hair strengthening, leave-in conditioner. It was only $5 so I thought it was worth the risk. I sprayed it on and not only did it smell fantastic--it made my hair softer in seconds. It also did not make it look greasy or dull. It has healthy ingredients and my scalp felt soft for the first time in months--score!