Brave New Year

The holidays were great and I focused on relaxing. The hair rituals have been put slightly on pause due to travel. Travel restrictions and luggage fees and all are not conducive to self-care. Neither are wigs in the heat and humidity in the Florida Keys. Two days into the trip Aileen shaved my fuzzy head down with a number 2 clipper. My hair is now white blond. Surprisingly is looks much healthier without the noticeable patchiness,less ill-looking. I can't stop touching it. I plan on keeping it this short until it grows in, or thickens a bit.

I felt oddly confident on vacation. Most people on the trip were acquaintances that quietly acknowledged and accepted my turn of events. It felt great not to have to say anything and I walked around bald proudly. It has been the most normal and authentic experience since the inception of my alopecia. Hiding it has been labor intensive.

I am not ashamed of my illness, was never ashamed. Only I felt protective of my feelings until I truly understood them. I know this is only a big deal to me, but it was still my deal and I was having trouble processing and accepting. Now that I have I am going to be brave this year for my resolution.